I was about as old as this blog post when I learned something new about myself. I wish I’d known it sooner.
Sunk into the sofa with my partner one sleepy evening, our discussion found its way towards how hard it is to embody the Finnish term ”reipas” - something akin to wholehearted embracing of one’s obligations. It’s something I’m teasingly accused of being, but it’s definitely not innate to me. I had to guide myself through slow, often painful steps towards a place where I feel my foundation is strong and I can provide for my loved ones. But yes, I’m more steady and structured in my fifth decade than I was in my third.
By the way, if you want wisdom on our natural tendencies and rhythms, talk to a dancer. Which is why it was clear as day to her that my natural rhythm is the sun, or a 24 hour cycle. She was right. It was the first time I truly understood this about myself. I walk/workout/write/work/sauna/pack - repeat. I’ve done so for years now. Recently, my guiding thought is to leave gifts for tomorrow’s me, not burdens. And now I know why - it’s within my nature.
She, on the other hand, has the constant in her, but is also open to the moment, to inspiration, to feelings, opportunities, and a more gradual ebb and flow of the tides, the seasons, and a multitude of intersecting forces. She is more like the moon – her words, not mine.
I’m more sun than moon - but I still want a bit of lunar pull to drag me out of the stately, orderly procession of my habits from time to time. Both forces interplay within us – and I will be looking more closely at how I can dance to both beats in future.
